Lhusuu Resketches

    When watching Disney's Sleeping Beauty:
Madeline: Okay everyone, today we're going to watch Sleeping Beauty. While watching the movie, you guys are going to answer some questions on this sheet that will be passed around.
    During the scene where the fairies are giving the gifts:
Lhusuu: So they gave her good looks and a good singing voice? Why didn't they give her the gift of intelligence, or wisdom, or charisma? I'm sure those would help to make her a good queen.
    Right after the narrator states that the princess has been living in the woods under an alter ego
Lhusuu: Wait, they just skipped ahead to her 16th year? Why didn't they go into detail about the events between her birth and 16th birthday? That would have been a good opportunity for character development.
    The scene where Prince Philip decides to follow Aurora's voice
Lhusuu: Wait, why is he following the voice?
Kid sitting next to him, looking at him: He's curious.
How does he know that it's not a siren or a succubus trying to lure him in?
Guy behind Lhusuu: Can you just watch the movie and suspend your disbelief for 45 minutes or so?
Lhusuu, turning to look at the guy: Sorry, it's just hard for me to ignore the logical fallicies in this film.
Kid: What's a succubus?
Lhusuu, looking at the kid: I'll tell you later.
    During the scene where Aurora and Philip meet for the first time
Lhusuu: Wait, he just grabbed her? Man, if I was Aurora, I'd punch him in the face and run like hell.
    A few minutes later
Lhusuu: So, they're in love now? How is that even possible when they've just met?
Guy: Stop questioning the fairy tale.
    When the fairies are battling over what color the dress should be
Lhusuu: Why don't they just make the dress some kind of purple? I mean, honestly, this is ridiculous.
    During the climax
Lhusuu: I hope Maleficent wins, she's awesome!
    Right after Maleficent is shown to be dead
Lhusuu: Boo!
    After the movie
Madeline: Okay, what did you all think of the movie?
Guy : I thought it was a cute movie.
Lhusuu: Well, uh, I thought Maleficent was awesome and I guess the artwork was okay.  But other than those two elements, I didn't really like anything else in the film.
Kid: I thought the film was good overall, but it needed more swordfighting! The climax would have been even more epic if there was a seige on the castle, the prince wakes the princess up and they fight Maleficent together! And the townspeople and the kings all fight Maleficent's minions.
Lhusuu: (The problem with that is that Aurora was probably never taught how to use any kind of weapon. But that would give way for an opportunity for character development and more dialogue.)
Kid across the room: OOH! That would be so cool! Maybe Aurora could wear some really cool armor and maybe use a cool weapon like an axe! Or a machine gun!
Lhusuu: (There weren't any machine guns at that time.)

Anda and her "problem"
Anda: Can I talk to you?
Lhusuu: Yeah, what's up?
Anda, looking around: can we talk in private?
Lhusuu: Okay.
The two walk into a secluded parlor
Anda: I think there's something wrong with me and I was wondering if you would have any medicine for it.
Lhusuu: Okay, what's the problem?
Anda: Well, uh, how do I explain this? Uh... Whenever I'm around other girls and the topic of how hot guys are, I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't exactly fit in. ...When I look at some girls, I can't help but feel... attracted to them. I feel like I must have some kind of illness and it's tearing me up inside. Do you have anything that can help me?
Lhusuu: I don't have anything that fixes your predicament. But, I can tell you that you don't need anything because there is nothing wrong you.
Anda: There's nothing wrong with me? But all other girls I met like guys and I'm the only one who doesn't fit into that category.
Lhusuu: What you prefer may be a little uncommon, but there isn't anything wrong with it. And, maybe some of those other girls are in the same situation you are in and are pretending to like guys because they want to fit in with their peers. Who knows?
Anda: I never thought of that. ...Should I tell anyone else about my situation?
Lhusuu: I'd be careful who'd I'd tell if I were you, there are some people who may exploit you and your situation if they found out.
Anda: Oh, okay. Thanks.
Lhusuu: Anything else bothering you?
Anda: Yeah, actually. Vaati said something to me that disturbed me. He said I need to be wary of human men because if they see me, they would rape me, kill me, chop my body up into pieces, then rape the pieces. This really scared me, but I keep wondering if it is actually true. Do you think Vaati would lie to me?
Lhusuu: I don't think that Vaati would lie to you, I think he would be dishonest with other people, he is a lord after all. I think the majority of what he said is outlandish. I've never heard of anyone dismembering someone and having sex with the remains. I think you need to be careful around the majority of humans because they don't take kindly to creatures of darkness.
Anda, cringing: Can you teach me some ways to defend myself? This is really scaring me!
Lhusuu: I can teach you some magic, but I don't think I can effectively teach you how to use a weapon seeing how I'm not very good at using them.

When talking about values
Elwin: What is something you can't stand in people?
Mariah: Dishonesty, that pisses me off so much.
Madeline:Selfishness
Anda: Cowardice
Lhusuu: Stupidity or willfull ignorance, I just can't stand either of those in a person.
Elwin: I guess for me it's arrogance.

-While buying food one day-

Lady: I'm going to only eat organic food because I want to be chemical free.
Lhusuu: That's impossible because everything in existence is made of chemicals.

-After listening to a terrible speech-

Lhusuu: That was the worst speech I've ever had to sit through, it was like eating shit vomit.
Elwin: Shit vomit?
Lhusuu: Yeah, you know when an animal eats its own shit, throws it up, then someone comes to bottle it up and force me to eat it.
Elwin: I figured that was what you meant, but that seems pretty extreme.

-Giving a speech to the Rennaivans while drunk-

Lhusuu: So. 'Pparently, I've been appointed to be in charge of this town. An, I'll tell you, dere's goin' to be some changes from here on out. For one, Ganon wants more silk, so you'll need to make some silk for him. Second, aside from fixin' up the town more, I think this city needs a nude fuckin' beach. Wouldn't that be great? I'll put it on the southern end of the city. Third thing I can help with is the arts. This town needs more decoration and stuff. Oh and did anyone see last night's opera? Man, that opera was really fucking great...

Mariah is putting her hand to her face. The crowd's reaction is a mixture of moans, gapes, and swearing.

-Cleaning the library-
Mariah: I need your help cleaning the library. I'm going to get some soap and rags, I need you to start sweeping the floor. I'll be right back.
Mariah leaves the room, then Lhusuu looks up from his book and throws a glance at the broom and dustpan laying in the corner. He twirls his fingers around and murmurs an incantation. Suddenly the broom and dustpan start to do their jobs on their own. Lhusuu then goes back to reading his book. Mariah comes back into the room with a bucket and rags 10 minutes later.
Mariah, wide eyed and shocked: Holy shit!
Lhusuu, looking up from his book: What?
Mariah: The broom is sweeping the room by itself!
Lhusuu: You've never seen anything like that before?
Mariah: No! This is the stuff you'd find in fairy tales!
Lhusuu: Huh, that's strange.

-During one of his contemplations-
Lhusuu: Have you ever wondered if our existence is meaningless? I've been thinking lately that compared to the rest of the universe, we are like specks of dust. Moreover, our lives' accomplishments could be destroyed in less than a minute.
Madeline: No. I've never really thought about it. But, I don't think our existence is meaningless. I think we matter a great deal to each other and we all rely on each other to survive.